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Saturday, January 14, 2006

The Death of Emode.com

If memory serves me correctly, several years ago there was a domain www.emode.com. Links to this site were mass-emailed around the world where you could take a multitude of e-tests. Personality, Astrology, IQ…anything you wanted, and it was all free! One of the great sites on the WWW, if you ask me.

About two years ago, Emode changed their format, not unlike a radio station, to a fun test/dating site. They offered an IM service and contact with people that they “matched” with your test answers. I bought into this gimmick at first, and thought that it was great. I paid $40, but soon realized what they were doing. The only thing that Emode was doing was “pattern matching” people with like profiles in the same geographical area, then sending messages to the users informing them what members “matched” them. The site at this point was now named www.tickle.com.

As tickle, all of the good tests were gone, and they were replaced with things about Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Tom Cruise. Jesus. There were tests still available, but they were about…”What kind of dog are you”, or “Who is your Celebrity Bed-Mate”? Fucking incredible. “What kind of Whore are you”? How was your first Gay experience?” Madre de Dios! I was an original member, so I got email updates through this whole 3-year transition.

Eventually, that is some time in the last 12 months, tickle became www.lovehappens.com. This former place of self exploration has become a glorified cat-house, where lonely members lie to each other, and are even emailed links that tell you whom to lie to! A fucking e-whorehouse, Emode has become: www.adultfriendfinder.com trumps (pwn35), because at least it is some what honest.

This Week:

I have not been a paying member of Emode, Tickle or Lovehappens, or what ever it is called this week, for over 18 months, however, I received this message:

I came across your profile in a search. I just wanted to say Hi, and also say that you would probably be surprised at how many women would be interested in you if you broadened your horizons and dated women with children. We are not all that bad, and they're a great asset! Take care and best of luck. I know this because I would've been very interested in contacting you, whether the feeling would be mutual is undetermined.
Take care and best of luck!

Yeah, right. After 12+ months, with no messages from anybody, this very good looking woman admonishes me for my mate criteria, and says she and wants to chat with me about it? She saw my profile (inactive for well over a year) and she decided to send me an email that is calculated to throw me into frenzy, and makes me want shoot a nasty reply back? Cleaver, but not that cleaver. This is a cheap, underhanded attempt to get me to buy a new subscription.

All I have to do is pay another $40 and be auto-billed for another $40 in thirty days, to reply to this automated-antagonist? BRILLIANT!

I have to give respect to www.lovehappens.com, because I was about 1 minute from doing it, and sending that fictional woman a lyrical spear to pierce her tiny black heart, but I calmed down, and realized what was going on. You can’t fade Masterson!

Oh well, I know all the tricks of the Internet sex-trade after all this time. If you still have questions why I was skeptical about this “email” from the mystery woman, these are the “matches” I received from the same site, a week before:

"A misogynist is a man who hates women as much as women hate each other."

-H.L. Mencken

Jesus H. Christ.

-T. "Daddy " Masterson


Blogger Vero said...

yah, I liked the original emote site too. But Im a sucker for time killers :)

1/14/2006 3:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also was looking emode.com and saw your sorry posting. BTW, the word is spelled 'clever,' not cleaver. I enjoyed the first part of the posting, until you got all angry and negative against women. Good luck to you!

5/25/2013 6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, the original site was the best and I'm still searching for such sites but seem to find none. if you know any do post it :)

Not all women are alike... so never be negative ... positivity is the bet tool you have. The best weapon too at times . It hurts no one and lets no one hurt you.

11/07/2013 9:56 PM  
Blogger Shelby said...

Hilarious blog.... Btw, I met my husband of 8 years on emode when it was still emode & we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter :)

3/15/2014 10:52 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

I met my now wife some 15 years ago and we both did some of the tests and are still happily together now. We were statistically both rare creatures and were getting another perspective. It may not have been perfect testing but it was sound and fairly accurate. I think we were light years ahead of numerology and the stars. Now this site is no more and they have sunk to the depths of making a buck anyway they can. How down can one get?

8/12/2016 8:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I met my fiancé on emode! We never paid for it; in fact both of us only stumbled accross emode because we wanted to do an IQ test and it was the first link that came up when we searched for 'free IQ test'.

My fiancé is French and was living in London. I am British and lived a long way away in the Cotswolds. We led completely different lives and would never have met had it not been for emode. Now after 13 and a half years, I am sat here in France whilst visiting his parents, about to go and visit some potential florists for our French wedding later this year.

Neither of us gave a penny to emode (we eventually exchanged contact details after chatting on the site for a while), yet I have SO much to thank them for.

4/03/2017 3:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

emode suddenly popped into my head during some idle time at work n i came across ur write-up. sad to hear about the website's downward spiral. but thanks for the update.

just one thing though: u claimed that ur account had been idle for over a year when that woman msgd u, and then at the end u say a week earlier u had been matched by the bunch pictured at the end. a bit of a contradiction there.

5/05/2017 12:26 AM  

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