The Roast of Hugh Hefner: Gilbert Gottfried

This is almost as good as his Roast of Bob Saget bit.

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MIT Prof. Debunks Video Games Lead to Violence Myth

What's more likely? That violent video games cause people to be violent, or that violent people prefer violent video games? To me this is the simplest logic, but there are millions of people out there who believe the former.

Reality Bytes: Eight Myths About Video Games Debunked.

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Massive Failures Prompt Feds to Seize the Kansas City Chiefs

VNN EXCLUSIVE:

9/26/08 (11:44pm CDT)

The Federal Government, citing months of failures and years of corrupt mismanagement, has seized control of the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs.

“We had to move quickly on this,” said Missouri Senator Clair McCaskill (D). “The Chiefs are an embarrassment to Kansas City, Missouri, and the NFL. We can not allow this cancer to metastasize, and kill the rest of the National Football League.”

“This team has not been to a Super Bowl since LBJ was President,” said Sen. Barney Frank (D). “It’s not fair,” Sen. Frank continued.

Under the Government plan, Tom Brady and Randy Moss will be transferred to the Chiefs at the end of this season, and current GM Carl Peterson will be replaced with Tom Delay.

Peterson and former Chiefs owner, Clark Hunt, were unavailable for comment.

While the Government can not force Brady and Moss to play for the Chiefs, they plan to use emergency funds to pay them $50m per year if they will move, as well as compensating the New England Patriots one billion dollars.

The Chiefs will also be allowed the first three draft picks in 2009.

“The greater good is what (is) important here,” said Chiefs second-year wide receiver Dwayne Bowe. “The Chiefs are (messed up)!”

Pro-Bowler Tony Gonzales said, “While Brody Croyle is the terror of the NFL, and the shredder of defenses, and his back-up, Tyler Thigpen, makes defensive coordinators quake in their boots, I think this is a good move, we needed this.”

Senators from California and Colorado vehemently opposed the Federal bailout of the Chiefs, and promised to file a lawsuit.

(All rights reserved, VNN 2008)

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Sacha Baron Cohen Invades Milan Fashion Show-Twice.

I can't wait for "Bruno" to be released, this guy is the funniest man in the world.

From The Daily Mail: Sacha Baron Cohen held by police after outrageous stunt on Milan catwalk.

Comedian Sacha Baron Cohen was taken to a police station yesterday after he brought chaos to the Milan fashion show for the second day running.

Despite the increased security after he evaded guards and burst backstage to changing rooms he again managed to get in.

Cohen, best known for his bizarre character Borat, caused havoc after storming the catwalk during the Agata Luiz della Prada show.

Dressed in a velcro suit he was bundled away by security guards and taken to a nearby police station where he was formally identified.

A police officer at Milan Sempione police station said: 'A British national by the name of Sacha Baron Cohen was brought here and identified.

Sounds like the woman behind the camera new who he was right away.

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Feds Seize Washington Mutual, Sell it off to J.P. Morgan

Greetings, comrades! The Imperialist propagandists at the The Wall Street Journal bring news of yet another great socialist victory!

In what is by far the largest bank failure in U.S. history, federal regulators seized Washington Mutual Inc. and struck a deal to sell the bulk of its operations to J.P. Morgan Chase & Co.

The collapse of the Seattle thrift, which was triggered by a wave of deposit withdrawals, marks a new low point in the country's financial crisis. But the deal, as constructed by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., could hold some glimmers of hope for the beleaguered banking system because it averts any hit to the bank-insurance fund.

Instead, J.P. Morgan agreed to pay $1.9 billion to the government for WaMu's banking operations and will assume the loan portfolio of the $307 billion thrift. The full cost to J.P. Morgan will be much higher, because it plans to write down about $31 billion of the bad loans and raise $8 billion in new capital. All WaMu depositors will have access to their cash, but holders of more than $30 billion in debt and preferred stock will likely see little if any recovery.

The deal will vault J.P. Morgan into first place in nationwide deposits and greatly expand its franchise.

The seizure was another watershed event in a frenetic period for the U.S. banking system, and came while members of Congress wrangled over the Bush administration's proposed $700 billion bailout package. The tally of U.S. financial giants that have either been seized by the government or sold themselves off to stronger firms in recent weeks includes mortgage titans Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, insurer American International Group Inc., and Wall Street firms Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. and Merrill Lynch & Co.

The failure of WaMu eclipsed what had long been America's largest bank bust on record, the 1984 collapse of Continental Illinois, which had $40 billion in assets.

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Just When You Think the Left Can't get any Further off the Rails...

I see this on HuffPo:

The Battle Plan II: Sarah "Evita" Palin, the Muse of the Coming Police State

I realized early on with horror what I was seeing in Governor Palin: the continuation of the Rove-Cheney cabal, but this time without restraints. I heard her echo Bush 2000 soundbites ("the heart of America is on display") and realized Bush's speechwriters were writing her -- not McCain's -- speeches. I heard her tell George Bush's lies -- not McCain's -- to the American people, linking 9/11 to Iraq. I heard her make fun of Barack Obama for wanting to prevent the torture of prisoners -- this is Rove-Cheney's enthusiastic S and M, not McCain's, who, though he shamefully colluded in the 2006 Military Tribunals Act, is also a former prisoner of war and wrote an eloquent Newsweek piece in 2005 opposing torture. I saw that she was even styled by the same skillful stylist (neutral lipstick, matte makeup, dark colors) who turned Katharine Harris from a mall rat into a stateswoman and who styles all the women in the Bush orbit --but who does not bother to style Cindy McCain.

Then I saw and heard more. Palin is embracing lawlessness in defying Alaskan Legislature subpoenas --this is what Rove-Cheney, and not McCain, believe in doing. She uses mafia tactics against critics, like the police commissioner who was railroaded for opposing handguns in Alaskan battered women's shelters -- Rove's style, not McCain's. I realized what I was seeing.

Reports confirmed my suspicions: Palin, not McCain, is the FrankenBarbie of the Rove-Cheney cabal. The strategy became clear. Time magazine reported that Rove is "dialed in" to the McCain campaign. Rove's protégé Steve Schmidt is now campaign manager. And Politico reported that Rove was heavily involved in McCain's vice presidential selection. Finally a new report shows that there are dozens of Bush and Rove operatives surrounding Sarah Palin and orchestrating her every move.

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Protests After HS Student is Forced to Remove a Patriotic American Flag T-shirt

It has become a cliche. All kids learn in public school these days is that Democrats are good, Republicans bad. Whites bad, all other races good. Men bad, women good. Christians bad, all other beliefs good. American bad, all other countries good. Democracy bad, socialism good.

Here is prosecution exhibit #44,256: Dos Palos students protest after school forces sophomore to remove American flag shirt.

Students at Dos Palos High School protested Thursday -- by wearing patriotic regalia to school -- after a sophomore student was forced to remove a T-shirt depicting the American flag.

Officials at the Merced County school confirmed Thursday that Jake Shelly was forced to take off a red, white and blue tie-dyed American flag T-shirt on Tuesday. The shirt said nothing offensive, just: "United States of America, Washington, D.C."

The school's assistant principal issued Shelly a bright yellow T-shirt that read "DCV: Dress Code Violator" to wear for the rest of the day. He was given his shirt back after classes ended.

"It was really embarrassing and humiliating to have to wear that all day -- and just for supporting your country," his sister Kaycee Shelly said.

Kaycee Shelly told members of the media at lunchtime that her brother was overwhelmed and did not want to do any more interviews.

Earlier in the day, he was speaking with a local news station when an unidentified teacher walked up to him, ripped off the microphone clipped to his shirt and told him he was not allowed to talk to the media.

District officials said they apologized to the student, his family and the local American Legion on Wednesday -- Constitution Day.

"In reviewing the dress code at the time, an administrator felt the shirt was in violation of that section of the dress code," said Superintendent Brian Walker. "She asked him to remove it and he did."

The assistant principal initially thought Shelly's T-shirt violated a clause of the school dress code that does not allow "shirts/blouses that promote specific races, cultures, or ethnicities."

(h/t Stop The ACLU)

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Canadian Gov. Funded "Journalist": Palin Supporters are 'White Trash', Palin Looks Like a 'Porn Star'

This has to be the epitome of the unhinged leftist anti-Palin rant.

I assume John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his vice-presidential partner in a fit of pique because the Republican money men refused to let him have the stuffed male shirt he really wanted. She added nothing to the ticket that the Republicans didn't already have sewn up, the white trash vote, the demographic that sullies America's name inside and outside its borders yet has such a curious appeal for the right.

Republican men have small penises and/or are impotent, as well as being irresponsible absentee fathers:

It's possible that Republican men, sexual inadequates that they are, really believe that women will vote for a woman just because she's a woman. They're unfamiliar with our true natures. Do they think vaginas call out to each other in the jungle night? I mean, I know men have their secret meetings at which they pledge to do manly things, like being irresponsible with their semen and postponing household repairs with glue and used matches. Guys will be guys, obviously.

Illogical feminazi rage against the patriarchy, Palin may be a transsexual:

But do they not know that women have been trained to resent other women and that they only learn to suppress this by constantly berating themselves and reading columns like this one? I'm a feminist who understands that women can nurse terrible and delicate woman hatred.

Palin was not a sure choice, not even for the stolidly Republican ladies branch of Citizens for a Tackier America. No, she isn't even female really. She's a type, and she comes in male form too.

Porn star-line, and a vicious attack on her family:

Palin has a toned-down version of the porn actress look favoured by this decade's woman, the overtreated hair, puffy lips and permanently alarmed expression. Bristol has what is known in Britain as the look of the teen mum, the "pramface." Husband Todd looks like a roughneck; Track, heading off to Iraq, appears terrified. They claim to be family obsessed while being studiously terrible at parenting. What normal father would want Levi "I'm a fuckin' redneck" Johnson prodding his daughter?

Bristol's man is a "rat-boy":

I know that I have an attachment to children that verges on the irrational, but why don't the Palins? I'm not the one preaching homespun values but I'd destroy that ratboy before I'd let him get within scenting range of my daughter again, and so would you.

And it continues. I can just imagine this woman pounding her bloody fingers on the keyboard, spittle flying from her mouth while writing this; eyes wide and unblinking.

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Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse

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Michael Savage Comments on the Market Collapse-9/15-9/16

I combined these two brilliant commentaries from Michael Savage to a single file, for your enjoyment.



(Source audio here)

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SNL 9/13-Tina Fey as Sarah Palin (UPDATED)

We all wanted it, and here it is.

Tina Fey has Palin's accent down pat! Most impressive.

I have to say that I have had the hots for Tina Fey for a long time; and I would pay upwards of a million dollars to have a 3-way with her and the VPILF.

(UPDATE) Vid removed from YouTube, see it here.

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Freestlye Rap Battle:Translated

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Lie-ing King

Brilliant.



(h/t Copious Dissent)

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Obama Fucks Up

Obama's campaign is starting to remind me of the 2007 New England Patriots.



Yes, "put lipstick on a pig" is an old adage, but I am thinking that this wasn't the best way to get your point across, Barry. The stuttering didn't help either.

It took awhile to find a non-biased news story to compliment the video. FOX, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC, ABC, AFP, AP, BBC, etc. all couldn't resist spinning the story; shockingly the most unbiased reporting (at least initially) was found at Reuters:

Obama gets ovation with ‘lipstick on pig’

Democrat Barack Obama enjoys poking fun at his Republican opponents and their claims to being “agents of change.”

But Obama’s comments at a town-hall meeting in southwestern Virginia may have been misinterpreted by the audience.

“You can put lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig,” he said as the crowd cheered and yelled and eventually got to their feet.

“You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It’s still gonna stink.”

“We’ve had enough of the same old thing.”

The audience, which had a particularly strong reaction whenever Obama mentioned Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, appeared to enjoy the “lipstick” comment the most.

When Palin gave her acceptance speech at the Republican convention in St. Paul she joked about being a hockey mom, saying the only difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom was lipstick.

I have to say that it is very unlikely that Obama said that on purpose. I just can't believe that any presidential candidate in America, especially one from the "compassionate" liberal left, would deliberately call his opponent's female running-mate "a pig."

For the masses however, this just puts an exclamation point on the litany of unhinged and frothing-the-the-mouth left-wing attacks on Sarah Palin by the Liberal Blogosphere and the MSM.

So this is how I see the last few weeks:

Obama and McCain are tied 40 to 40, with 10 minutes to play in the 4th quarter. McCain just scored big to tie it up, and then called an on-sides kick, and recovered the ball, stunning the fans with his bold tick play.

Palin is subbed for McCain, and goes under center, 1st and 10 at the McCain 45. She takes the snap, and throws a bullet pass that hit for a few yards, but she was tackled by Obama's linebacker after they play... 15 yard penalty. After the thug player is called for the penalty, he attacks the referee, and is called for an additional 15 yards. 1st and 10 at the Obama 25

Palin drops back to pass, and hits WR T. Base over-the-shoulder for a TD, extra point good!

McCain's kicker just kicked off, and Obama's return man decided to run it out, 5-yards deep from the end-zone. He shucked and jived, but ended up being tackled at the 10.

Obama in the shot-gun, get's the snap, and fumbles! He chases after the ball in to the end-zone where he is tackled for a safety!

It's McCain's game to loose now.

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CSI Miami - Endless Caruso One Liners

LOL



Man, they missed the best one:

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U.K. Environment Minister on Global Warming Truthers: "hysterical psuedo-religion"

This guy is going to need a food taster now.

From the BBC: Wilson row over green 'alarmists'

In an article in the News Letter, Mr Wilson said he believed it occurred naturally and was not man-made.

"Resources should be used to adapt to the consequences of climate change, rather than King Canute-style vainly trying to stop it," said the minister.

Peter Doran of the Green Party said it was a "deeply irresponsible message."

Mr Wilson said he refused to "blindly accept" the need to make significant changes to the economy to stop climate change.

"The tactic used by the "green gang" is to label anyone who dares disagree with their view of climate change as some kind of nutcase who denies scientific fact," he said.

The minister said he accepted climate change can occur, but does not believe the cause has been identified.

"Reasoned debate must replace the scaremongering of the green climate alarmists."

John Woods of Friends of the Earth said Mr Wilson was "like a cigarette salesman denying that smoking causes cancer".

"Ironically, if we listen to him Northern Ireland will suffer economically as we are left behind by smarter regions who are embracing the low carbon economy of the future."

It is the latest clash between Mr Wilson and green groups since his appointment as environment minister in June.

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Former Planned Parenthood President Whines About Bristol Palin's Choice

I thought women had the right to choose.

Former Planned Parenthood President Says Sarah Palin Forcing Daughter to Keep Baby

As news of the pregnancy of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol makes the headlines, she is coming under attack from backers of pro-abortion candidate Barack Obama. But few have gone as far as former Planned Parenthood president Gloria Feldt, who suggested Palin is making her daughter keep the baby.

"She probably feels powerless right now," Feldt said on Tuesday responding to the news about Bristol Palin.

Feldt said Governor Palin’s pro-life views may have made it so she and her husband Todd prevented Bristol from getting an abortion.

"Because of her family's attitude she probably doesn't feel that she has a choice in terms of what will happen to her,” Feldt said.

Instead, the pro-abortion activist appears to say Palin wants her daughter to keep the baby to avoid the embarrassment and present a positive spin on the news in the media.

“Her mother is weaving a narrative that it's a heroic thing of course that she is going forward with the pregnancy, she's getting married and it will all be beautiful and rosy,” Feldt added.

Somebody sounds bitter.

(via LGF Link Viewer)

Just say it. Abortion. ABORTION. PRO-ABORTION.

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Rudy, Palin Speeches at the RNC, 9/3/08

I thought Rudy was hilarious:



BOOM! Damn that was harsh.

Palin far exceeded my expectations:



One thing I noticed was that baby's daddy was conspicuously present, holding the daughters hand the whole time.

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Sarah Palin's 17-Year-Old Daughter is Pregnant

Ah, so that explains the pics the pregnancy Truthers were using as evidence that Palin didn't actually have her 5th child, and it was really her oldest daughter.

From MSNBC: GOP VP candidate Palin's daughter is pregnant

The 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is pregnant, Palin said Monday in an announcement intended to knock down rumors by liberal bloggers that Palin faked her own pregnancy to cover up for her child.

Bristol Palin, one of Alaska Gov. Palin's five children with her husband, Todd, is about five months pregnant and is going to keep the child and marry the father, the Palins said in a statement released by the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain.

Bristol Palin made the decision on her own to keep the baby, McCain aides said.

"We have been blessed with five wonderful children who we love with all our heart and mean everything to us," the Palins' statement said.

"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support," the Palins said.

The Palins asked the news media to respect the young couple's privacy.

While I couldn't care less, this certainly doesn't help McCain any. Aides say McCain knew about this before he made his decision. Okay, so I'm going to make a prediction here: This whole thing was a set-up from the start designed to do nothing more than to steal the momentum from the Dems after the convention. I will bet you a dime that before the week is over, Palin will step down on her own "for family reasons", and Romney will be selected as veep.

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