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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Rot in Hell, Saddam

Iraq hung Saddam today...

For you lefties out there, before you condemn this tyrannical barbarian's execution, please remember that this was the man whom ordered a chemical weapon attack on his own people, started wars of conquest with two neighbors, and employed a professional rapist, among other atrocities. You should also remember that America may have found him cowering in his hole, but it was an Iraqi court, presided over by an Iraqi judge, and twice confirmed by a jury of Iraqi's that decreed that Saddam should hang by his neck until he was dead.

Now that Saddam is roasting in Hell with his buddy al-Zarqawi, maybe this will give some of the other Islamist dictators in the world some pause, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.


Read this, It will make you a better person

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Best YouTube Video, 2006

This entire week, I have been banging my head on my keyboard, trying to decide what was the best video I had watched on YouTube this year. I had this thing narrowed down to Mike Hollingshead’s storm video, The 2003 DMX Dante Hall Highlights, or the Charlie Brown Jihad… But fate and Little Green Footballs intervened at the last minute.

This year's winner is the funniest, most relevant, and most absurd video of 2006. I present to you, Tommy Masterson's 2006 Best YouTube Video:

Santa Claus Joins the Intifada

Peace be unto you, and have a terrific 2007! Allahu Ackbar!

-Tommy Masterson

Read this, It will make you a better person

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Churchill, Redux

Yet another moving speech by The Great One, Winston Churchill. Chronologically, this was the first of Churchill's 3 great speeches, but I couldn’t get this one uploaded to the al-YouTube last night.


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Repost- The Wizards of Winter

It's Christmas time again! For your pleasure, I have uploaded the amazing Christmas lights Trans-Siberian Orchestra video to al-YouTube.


Read this, It will make you a better person

How I Became a Conservative

I’m not really a "true" conservative, just an arrogent conservative-leaning Libertarian. I went to public school, and like most youths that are indoctrinated for 12 years by liberal teachers I was myself, at one time, very liberal; because you can afford to be a liberal when you have no social responsibility. However even in my youth, I listened to Rush Limbaugh, I thought Ron Reagan was a living God (I’m sure he was now), and joined the ROTC. My parents did nothing to encourage my behavior, I just loved Ron and Rush and the military because I was and am and always will be a patriotic American that loves my country... no more no less. 1996 was the first year I was old enough to vote in a presidential election, and I voted for Clinton. I already considered myself a Libritarian at that point, (even though I did not know exactly what that ment) but The Boss, Ross Perot decided not to run again, mores the pity. I didn’t vote for Bob Dole because I thought he was too old to be the president. This is just a bit of background.

I very much remember the morning I knew in my heart that I was politically conservative. It was a sunny spring day in April 1995, just 24 hours before Tim McVey and Terry Nichols blew up the Murrah building in Oklahoma City with their Rider truck. I was sitting in my computer science class, and this girl announced to the entire class that she was pregnant. One of my fellow classmates told the preggo: “You should become a baby machine to get welfare money, and you never have to work again,” and I EXPLODED... not unlike Tim's rented truck.

I stood up and told them both that I am not paying taxes to buy their lazy asses an apartment and food because they don’t want to work. I told them both that I was going to have them arrested for theft, and said many other colorful things about their humanity and questionable parentage. I threatened a massive lawsuit on behalf of the American People.

I did not get in trouble for my political incorrectness, because the teacher was away (probably drinking a latte), and the rest of the students, well, agreed with me and were also upset. They continued the attack on the two shrews where I had left off. I looked the preggo up the other day (I find people for a living) and apparently she took the advice of her classmate to heart. I found that she still lived with her parents and now has 4 kids by 3 different men, had been arrested several times for prostitution and possession of narcotics, subjected to court-ordered drug rehab twice… basically she's a worthless burden on society. I feel sorry for her kids because God knows what they are learning at the knee of this wretch, but...


To clear things up, this is where I stand on some issues:

1: I support the legalization of pot and certain other drugs
2: I support gay marriage (if they want the government to regulate their relationship, fuck um, they’re as stupid as they are ignorant)
3: I oppose all smoking bans, and bans on Trans fat… bans on anything, really
4: I am “pro-life”, but support stem cell research

5: The First Amendment means that you have the right to practice whatever religion you want to practice, without government regulation, or none, unless your religion infringes on the rights of other people (Muslims and other cultists, please read that again). The press has the right to report anything, as long as it is the truth. You can have a protest, a peaceful one. For the common American, you can say just about whatever you want. You can contact the government and bitch if you don’t like things
6: I oppose the death penalty in all cases; section 1 of the 14th Amendment needs to be amended.

Fiscal/ Political:
1: The income tax should be eliminated
2: Welfare and other social programs should be stopped. You can not have open boarders and a welfare state and expect to survive as a nation
3. Affirmative Action is a disgrace to all races that should be ended
4: Build the wall on the Mexican border, deport the non-violent illegal immigrant criminals in our prisons, and use the Army to defend the border with Mexico
5: End lifetime appointments for Supreme Court and Appellate Court judges
6: I support term limits for Senators and Congressmen…er CongressPEOPLE, excuse me
7: Stop giving monetary aid to countries that refuse to help themselves or do not support American values
8. Use the Army and/or our nuclear arsenal to stop radical Islam
9: Again, the 14th Amendment needs a change in section 1: The part that states any person born in the United States is automatically a citizen. Slavery ended 160 years ago

I am by no means alone here. There is an axiom in American politics when it comes to voting for the President that goes somthing like this: '40% always vote Democrat, 40% always vote Republican. It's the other 20% whom control the country.' I can't wait for the 2008 elections.

-Tommy Masterson

Read this, It will make you a better person

Friday, December 22, 2006

The Greatest Man

I was once asked this question by my father: “Who do you think was the greatest man to ever live, other than Jesus?” With no hesitation and with a lump in my heart, I replied, with no reservations; Winston Churchill.

Winston Churchill is, I believe, the greatest man that has lived in the past 100 years. If you disagree, well you are below retarded, and I pity you. I present to you, the ignorant masses, 2 of Winston Churchill's greatest speeches:

Finest Hour:

Never surrender pt 1:

Never surrender pt 2:


Read this, It will make you a better person

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Turkmenbashi (1940-2006)

I was greatly saddened this day when I found out that one of my idols had passed away. The Great Leader, Saparmurat Atayevich Niyazov, known to the west as Turkmenbashi, His Excellency Saparmurat Niyazov Turkmenbashi, President of Turkmenistan and Chairman of the Cabinet of Ministers, has died of heart disease at the age of 66.

As you well know, I have a special place in my heart for megalomaniacal, personality cult forming dictators; Turkmenbashi was to me the pinnacle of benevolent tyranny. While I won’t give you a history lesson here, I will list some of the reasons why I feel that Niyazov is one of the greatest dictators of all time:

1 He ordered Doctors in Turkmenistan to swear an oath to Turkmenbashi, rather then taking the Hippocratic Oath.

2. He commissioned an Ice Palace to be constructed that could hold 1,000 people… in the Karakum Desert, one of the hottest places on earth.

3. Video monitors were required in all public places... airing his speeches

4. In order to pass the test to get a drivers license, you had to pass a political test about your knowledge of Turkmenbashi’s writings.

5. He had gold statues and busts constructed of himself and placed all over the country, including one that always rotated to face the sun.

6. He commissioned the construction of largest Mosque in Central Asia, and named it… the Palace of Turkmenbashi. Not even Napoleon, Idi Amin, or Jean-Bedel Bokassa had the balls to spend nearly a ¼ of their GDP on a holy temple, and then name it after themselves. Brilliant!

7. Turkmanbashi had his face put on every bank note and every coin, and renamed the days of the week and the months of the year after himself and his family.

This could go on for many, many more pages, but I think you get the idea. The world will miss Turkmenbashi, but I will always remember him dearly.

-Tommy Masterson

Read this, It will make you a better person

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Charlie Brown Jihad

Merry #^@%#% Christmas!


Read this, It will make you a better person

Friday, December 15, 2006

Did Somebody Say Allahu Ackbar?

I would like to credit this picture, but I don't remember where I got it.


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News Round Up, 12/14/06

To start, I want to say that the Fergalisious post was an inside joke, and I have removed the video. If you want to wack-off to Fergie, you can easily find what she’s got-got on Al-YouTube. Tasty, tasty!

Illegal immigrants had a bad week: Thousands of illegals were rounded up by the Fed’s this week at 6 Swift and Company meat packing plants. Many of these people got their jobs with stolen identities; stolen American identities, but yet the MSM chooses not to condemn these criminals, even when they are sapping BILLIONS of your tax dollars. Instead, they seek to stir your sympathy with pictures like these:

Another illegal was arrested on immigration charges.
This "Asian youth", Mohammed Yusef Mullawala, just wanted to get a CDL and Hazmat licence, very quickly. He was an illegal alien, just seeking the American dream, right? The police are baffled according to the AP, why this Pakistani Muslim on an expired visa wanted to only learn how to drive a semi forward, and did not care to learn to back up. I have no clue either. What a shocka!

I do have empathy for poor people, even illegals that are just trying to support their families and make a better life for themselves. However there is a very hard, black line when these people start committing crimes in the United States. At that point I have no sympathy, no remorse. If you use an American’s SSN to get a job, get a bank account, etc., you and your family should be arrested and shipped back to whatever county you came from, immediately. These illegals commit an extremely disproportional amount of the violent crimes in America. They are 30% of our prison population. I could quote FBI statistics that prove this, but I don’t feel like it: Do your own research. The bottom line is that the cost of protecting illegal immigrants under the law puts an enormous and unnecessary tax burden on the American public. $30 Billion per year; ($100 for every American man, woman, and child) that is coming out of YOUR pockets. And don’t tell me some bullshit about how they pay taxes without the benefit of Social Security. I don’t care. The burden these people put on the American tax payer far exceeds the low-price produce from Caliphornia.

Well, the 21st century Hitler is holding a Holocaust denial rally in Tehran.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is currently the most dangerous man in the world. He declares weekly that he will “wipe Israel off the map”, build nuclear weapons, and set forth the end times by unleashing the 12th Imam from his well.

Speaking of Russia, the there is no chance that the FSB pulled off the Polonium-210 assassination of Alexander Valterovich Litvinenko, like I said before. As the evidence mounts, it’s looking more and more like the Russian Mafia did it, but I still think the Israeli Mossad carried out the assassination.

In other news, a bunch of “militant” Muslims killed 100’s of innocent people this week. Wait, that’s not news, it happens every week. No news there; we all know that there are moderate Muslims, but there is no such thing as moderate Islam. Why Billions of people follow the words of the psychopathic murderer and pedophile Mohammed (May He Burn in Hell), I will never understand.


Read this, It will make you a better person

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The Wrath of Nature

Mike Hollingshead is the best storm photographer, ever. Since I have been buying his DVD's, and for years demanding that my friends visit his page; Mike delivers time and again. You may even notice that his site is #2 under "my links", no coincidence there! Poking around al-YouTube tonight, I found he has created an account and uploaded this:


Read this, It will make you a better person

The Giant is Stirring

At this point, anybody that doesn’t see the left wing liberal bias in the main stream media is brain-dead. Sorry, there is no argument, the facts are in; the MSM with few exceptions slants the news to the left. The good news is that the American public realizes this, and is starting to rebel. The circulation of newspapers considered liberal (New York Times, LA Times, Washington Post, this could go on forever, etc.) has been dropping dramatically over the last few years, while centrist and conservative/ right leaning newspapers have shown a corresponding increase in circulation. Talk radio is completely dominated by conservative hosts. Any story filed by the AP and Reuters is now suspect at best. The CBS Evening News, long considered to be the most liberally biased evening news program, has rotted in the bottom of the ratings barrel for years and years, according to Neilson Media Research. Katie Couric took over as anchor, and the ratings shot up due to the hype for a couple weeks; and now they’re back in the cellar, again. A recent study has reveled that 74% of registered Republicans think the MSM has a liberal bias; no surprise there. What is a surprise is that 50% of registered Democrats also think that the MSM has a liberal bias. Combined, that’s a majority folks, and as usual, the American people are voting with their wallets.

America is a conservative country, get over it.


What did you think when you read that word? I bet you felt nothing. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have, nearly by themselves, completely desensitized the American public to this word. No thinking person takes these two hypocritical con-artists seriously anymore. Louis Farrakhan? I tend not to listen to people whom think that the Caucasian race was created by an evil African mad scientist, and think that all the white people in America will be killed by a giant flying saucer shooting fire and poison gas, but I have to give him credit on a couple of points: He tells poor Black people in the ghetto to get off the drugs, stop drinking, get off welfare, stop having illegitimate children, don’t listen to Jesse and Al, they are your enemy, work hard and make something of yourself. I think it was in 2001 I watched a slavery reparations rally on CSPAN, and Louis was the only speaker that got up on stage and tell the crowd to forget reparations and get out of the slums by working hard. He left the stage to lukewarm applause.

I would, if I was a Black man, find Affirmative Action more offensive than the Jim Crow Laws. Since Affirmative Action has prevented me from being hired in the past, I find it even more offensive as a white man. I don’t understand how you could possibly take pride in your self and your work when there is a nagging question: “Did I get hired because of my abilities, or because they had to hire me?” Humans have egos, and you don’t satisfy the desire to achieve success by giving hand outs.

Illegal Immigration

Put up the wall, deport them all. They take up 30% of our prison cells; they commit 25% of the murders. The federal government should do one of the few things the constitution mandates them to do: Defend the borders! Take the Army out of Iraq if you have to, and put them on the border. O.K., I will relent on the deportation a bit. Get the army down there, and put up the wall first, then we can grant amnesty to the 12-13 million that are here already. I think America would better benefit from paying $.80 more for a head of lettuce and having the tax burden reduced by $35 Billion. You can not have a welfare state and open borders at the same time.


Low hanging fruit… Please see my previous posts for more info.

-Tommy Masterson

Read this, It will make you a better person

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Mr. Show: Pit-Pat!

Another classic comedy skit



Read this, It will make you a better person

Friday, December 01, 2006

Guilty Pleasures

I have a confession to make here. I like to read tabloid articles, especially if they have to do with Christina, Britney, Paris, or Lindsay. They're all hot-as-hell, yes, but some other element is also present. I can’t place my finger on it, maybe it’s like how you can’t help but slow down to gawk at a multi-car fatality accident on the freeway. It might be because they are all famous trashy bimbos, I have no idea.

For the other men out there, I would like you to picture these things the next time you are alone, and reach for the skin lotion and seaman-encrusted “happy sock” from under the bed, fantasizing about jamming to one of these “ladies”:

Britney: When you create a scenario that you wack-a-mole to Brit, remind yourself of the 2 babies she’s pushed out now. To quote Borat, “…like sleeve of wizard.” You’re into that? OK, than think about this… A tattoo over her area that reads… “K-Fed was here!” Do you really want your cock to be in the same place as Kevin Federline’s?

Lindsay: Eh… well unless you like hydrochloric acid mixed with vodka and various other partially digested stomach contents vomited in a yellowish-brown slurry on your penis, or like trying to seduce sweaty, comatose 20-year-olds, who have ammonia-scented urine dribbling down their pantyhose… yeah you get the picture now. Almost enough to turn you gay. Almost.

Paris: She ignites my blood and makes my skin crawl at the same time… not unlike Gonorrhea. Can you imagine having a conversation with her? You would either be drooling so much that you could only make cave-man like grunts, or be prepared to give yourself a 9mm brain hemorrhage, or both. Syphilis can cause dementia, after all. Gonna knock it out anyway? Take her word for it… those red bumps down there is just razor burn…

Christina: When a pop star comes along that makes Madonna look like a conservative, you know the apocalypse is neigh. They both have one thing in common that I happen respect… no BS. Madonna is a raging nympho, so she published a book ingeniously titled Sex. Christina is a $10 gutter-tramp, so she films Dirty. This type of honesty is very refreshing to me. It’s a shame that our civilization has become so screwed up that I consider Madonna and Christina more honorable than most of the people I meet.

-Tommy Masterson

Read this, It will make you a better person