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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Truck Commercials

Me and my friends often joke about pick-up truck commercials. Without going into why we think they're funny, well... I trust you have a sense of humor.

A Ford Commercial during the Carter Administration:

In the late 70's, pedophiles, sluts, and homosexuals were the target demographics of Ford.

Now this is a goddamn TRUCK commercial, coincidentally produced during the Reagan Administration:

Goddamn! Fucking Bush, Buckwheat, the ton of rocks dropping into the bed! I liked the part when the nondescript workman slammed down his toolbox. Now that's a fucking truck that can haul some shit!

To nobody's surprise, the faggotry returned during the Clinton Administration:

Four men running from a bull. None of these "cowboys" has a gun. They hide in their truck, lay back, drink lattes, and eat "burritos." All that is missing is a giant pink triangle on the roof.

Dodge Ram Commercial from the Bush Administration:

CGI Pit Bulls! Fuck yeah!

I'm still waiting for the first good Obama truck commercial. I suspect it will be a load of $100 bills slamming into the bed, with a dramatic slow-motion shot of the truck recoiling from the impact.

Then the truck will accelerate off screen, leaving a cloud of dust and tire smoke behind; then a cut to the truck screeching to a halt in front of Goldman Sachs.

Cut to flannel-clad rough workmen off-loading bundles of cash like bales of hay, and zoom in to the "Yes We Can!" logo painted on the side of the building...


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