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Thursday, September 08, 2005

The Worst Poem, Ever

Below is a poem that I received in an email. It is hands down the WORST poem ever written in any language.

Warning! Reading this is like watching five priests rape an alter boy clad in gimp suit complete with a ball-gag.

The following is completely unedited, save for removing the ">" marks in each line.

Tommy Masterson now presents:

30 Second Video # 18
By Kelly

Why when one is confronted with Objective
Reality..... he searches for an "out"?
A way to avoid making a decision that
requires some sort of "line
in the sand"?
Will donning a down vest protect
him from an oncoming speeding train,
if he is walking down the

Maybe the warmth makes him feel "warm & fuzzy"

Watch these 30 second clips and ask yourself.......
where is my "line in the sand"?
Or, how can I shield my mind from
irrefutable evidence.....

Free fall physics is simply that ......
To get freefall speeds....
you can not have resistance...
it is physics. Resistance
would slow any fall....
Like OH maybe the resistance of 80 floors
of solid steel concrete reenforced structure..

Oh on that pesky physics thing.....
When is the
last time you saw a Kerosene Heater melt
from burning its own fuel. That owner quality metal.
Jet fuel = kerosene... It
Burns very fast and at
very low temperature.
So how did it cause an entire
structure (two ofthem)
to fall down and go boom?

To secure a "free fall" political climate....
you also want NOresistance.
I guess this is what mom meant when she
admonished me to actually think!!
Because Wolfs eat Sheep..... that
is what they do

Secure us please, from our protectors.


This makes NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL! What this reads like is less a poem, (is it?) and more like a teenage Guru pot-head dispensing wisdom to his pot-heads acolytes. One of them probably said, “Dude, that’s INSANE! You have GOT to post this on the web!”

This “poem” reminds me of Slater in “Dazed and Confused” discussing the historical significance of aliens, George Washington, and the one-dollar bill.

"And it's green too!"

-Tommy Masterson


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you will excuse me, I am going to shove a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toe. And it is this "Kelly" persons fault.
:( :( :(

9/08/2005 10:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes this is bad very very bad

9/10/2005 10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, its pretty bad.. but sadly enough I've read worse from my ex. Sad indeed.

eq V

9/11/2005 1:21 AM  
Blogger Jabot the Scrob said...

You write the comments to your own blog don't you.

12/04/2005 3:48 AM  

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