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Saturday, August 09, 2008

Olympics Update

My heart is about to beat out of my chest. I flipped on the commie Olympics tonight, and I was treated to a Chinese woman, who was an American citizen, playing backgammon with this blond Canadian woman. The two commentators were trying to be excited, talking about how the "birdie" can leave the racket at 200mph, while I was looking at the same footage they were: A couple of spaghetti-armed apes randomly flailing a mutated tennis racket around. Somebody won a gold metal for this apparently... I don't remember which side won.

Then the drama switched to a bunch of women shooting fucking BB guns at circle targets at 100 feet-they sucked.

They were wearing what looked like cybernetic bio-suits from Universal Soldier, and a bank of LCD monitors to track their shots. The BB guns looked more complex to operate than .50 cal Barrett sniper rifles.

Now the drama had turned to a bunch of hermaphrodites trotting horses around while wearing outfits from A Clockwork Orange.

Apparently making a horse trot about in a circle and then in a straight line is an Olympic event.

Now, a co-ed soccer match is about to take place between Japan and the USA.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be quite interesting if they were playing backgammon with rackets. I think you meant to say "badminton".

8/10/2008 12:18 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

What "Anonymous" said.

Backgammon would be an interesting Olympic sport ... I can picture a steroid-stuffed Romanian intimidating his opponent with each roll of the dice.

8/14/2008 6:35 PM  
Blogger Venjanz said...

**WHOOOSH**

8/17/2008 12:36 AM  

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