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Saturday, November 29, 2008

PETA Members: MUST READ!

(click for larger image)

This is what I just pulled out of my oven. I think I will eat the left-wing first.

Toss my salad, PETA bitchez.

The only thing that sucked about this is that I didn't get to strangle or shoot the terrified turkey myself. I think it would be pretty awesome to throw one of these squawking birds into the boiling water while alive, and watch the feathers fly while listing to Die Motherfuckers by the Geto Boys.

Deer meat is even better than turkey.

There is nothing I like better than popping a deer slug in an unsuspecting doe's head while she is sipping from a brook: SPLAT! PWND!, and watching the brains leak out of her shattered skull.

After we cut her up for meat, we make a xylophone out of the ribcage, a drum out of the skull (drum sticks made out of leg bones), and we use her intestines for violin and bass strings.

Then we sit around the campfire eating deer meat, faces adorned with deer blood as face-paint, playing songs with instruments made out of deer bones and guts... great fun!

(Kidding aside, this is a roasted turkey I cooked tonight)

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