I am Going to Quit My Job

I keep reading about all the people that continue to be suckered by the Nigerian letter scam and the email love letter. I can make a lot of money doing this, so I think I will get in on the action. Here is a first draft of the letter I plan to send:

Dear American Friend:

I read about your profile on-line. I am decided to send you this email because I am love with you. Here is picture of me.

I wish to visit United States so can I have freedome. My father wished me to marry the man he choose so I run away. I am working as cook in restaurant and hotel in Bratislava for room and food. I get to use to internet to, when no guest wish to. Please help me I am lonely and broke. I am only 20 and do not have many work skills. I want to see more of you, you are hot! My last boyfriend was rich jerk from New York. He say he take me to America but he just say that so I go to bed with him. I did and he left and did not take me. I want to talk to you but don’t trust much. You not do that to me, yes? I make good woman. I can cook and clean and if you do not be with other woman I not be with other man.

Air ticket is not many dollars. I need to buy here though for customs reasons. Please to let me use you name and credit card number to buy ticket here so I can come see you! I love your picture and profile. You may be right man for me. Can I come CU? Please do not hurt my feeling like last American I met did. I wish to be a American, but I need help to get to USA to see you. America is greatest country on earth.

Well let me know what you think of me. Please not to say anything mean to me, I not mean to you, yes? Can we be good friends?

I wish to hear from you soon!

-Anastasia K.

Ps. Please mail me more pics of you. I think you are very cute!

Whats really sad about this is that I know it would work on some people. I busted that out in 10 minutes. Something to think about, yes?

-Tommy Masterson