Escort Review: April

I was really horny tonight, so I ordered up an escort. I told OP Escorts that I wanted a short brunette, or any petite dark-haired woman: Preferably an Asian. They did not have any Asians (as usual), but they did have a new girl that was short, and had shoulder length brown hair. I told OP Escorts to send her over.

April showed up at about midnight on the dot, with an attitude. This turned me off right away… she’s a hooker… she should be pleasant; I did not order a wife.

After she told the crossed-eyed body-guard to leave, we sat on my couch for about 20 minutes ($35) talking about the weather. I was getting frustrated, so I told her to take off her top. April looked at me with the “thousand yard stare,” but she complied. April was wearing a sheer black bra, likely bought from Frederick’s of Hollywood. Very sexy. She seemed insecure after her shirt came off, but was looking into my eyes with venom, nay pure hatred. She hated me, and my ilk I could tell. Her eyes had the same dead coldness that you see when you look at the police photographs of serial killers. Needless to say my erection was killed right then and there. I was almost afraid for my life.

I gave her a $50 bill and told her that if she ever stopped hooking, to give me a call. I swear to you, the look she gave me chilled me to the bones, and I was glad send April on her way. It was worth the $50 to get her out of my apartment.

I am done with prostitutes. I still believe that the relationship between a hooker and her John is the most honest and mutually beneficial in the world, but I can no longer take the risk.

-Tommy Masterson