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Thursday, October 26, 2006

The MoD in Hong Kong

The Overland Park Taliban Minister of Disinformation has been in Hong Kong for the last three weeks subverting the communist regime, while ostensibly working as a graphic artist. Below is the report on his activities:

I am in Hong Kong. I have come here to work. I have been here for more days than I can count right now. I came with some other “Americans” as well. It’s funny, in Hong Kong, you meet a lot of Westerners, especially other “Americans”. I have noticed something in my travels here. Everyone from America that travels internationally is always a Raging Commie Kook America Basher. Why is that? So far, anyone who speaks a word that I can understand usually states that they hate the president and/or the U.S. within 10 minutes of dialog. It’s like it is so paramount to their existence that they have to get it out there, lest they lose the chance. I expect this from the natives, but not from other “Americans”. I feel like a lone aircraft carrier, the sole projection of American power in this part of the world, patrolling the seas, protecting the homeland from afar.Anyway, here are a few pictures from my stay here.

I think they will be informative, and help people better understand dirty red commies. For starters, here is the swimming pool from my hotel window.




It is pretty nice, but I never see it. Because I am in a communist country, I have been forced into communist working conditions, therefore, it is always closed when I get back to my room, and it is too early when I leave in the morning. But it is nice. It was built by the blood of forced labor, using the money gained from crushing taxes.These are from my hotel room. It’s not much, but I call it home. For 30 days…These next ones are from the building that I work in. Some interesting notes:


This is the hallway that I spend a lot of time in smoking.


Smoking is legal in communist countries…everywhere. This is because smoking harms people, and communist governments like that. Here is a Communist fire hose.

This is very interesting. Look how small the hose is. Communists figure that in the event of a fire, the smaller the hose, the less water comes out, and the more people are burned.



You might notice how small the tiles are on the floors and especially the walls. On the floor, at least 4, and possibly 8 tiles make up the size of a regular American tile, and the walls, 8, and probably more like 16 tiles do the same. This may seem odd, unless you understand communists like I do. If it takes 10 men 8.3333 hours to lay 5000 tiles, at a rate of 1 tile per minute in America, then it will take 1 man 266.666 hours to lay 80000 at a rate of 5 tiles per minute in a communist country. This does not include downtime to recover from beatings.Here is a communist stair case. Notice that communists like and have always liked the color red. That is because red is the color of blood, and communists like blood, especially from downtrodden people.


A communist evil corporation???

Another communist company, in the same building, much like the one I work for. The astute viewer might notice the low ceilings in these photos. This is easily explained as well. Communists are shorter than normal humans. This is because since the day they are born they are malnourished and bombarded with pollutants that stunt the growth. Communist leaders steal all of the food produced by their nations, not because they themselves can eat it (they are usually fat, but not THAT fat) but because they enjoy watching their population starve.

Here are some communist cigarette packs:



Communists don’t play around.


Well so do evil communist regimes!


Yeah? Yeah? Well, so do pedofile communist dictators!

This next one is very interesting.I had my people pick up some take out from Outback Steakhouse. I got Alice Spring Chicken and broccoli. Food here is, at least to me, notorious for coming with “guests”. I figured that Outback, being Western, would be okay. I wolfed down a few stalks of broccoli, before remembering my last trip, when a coworker overturned his Styrofoam container of beef and broccoli, and found a mulitdue of small insects in it. Well, I still didn’t think anything really, but the thought crossed my mind and I glanced down at the piece in my hand. Something was smiling back at me.Woah! I get it now! The communists are trying to “bug” me!



You know, being the sole projection of American power and all…Holy Shit! What happened? How did these communists get into my room??!!

They told me “we have ways of making me talk.” But not to worry, I didn’t say nothin’!These colors NEVER run!


Well ehh...


This one only cost 70$!Boyakasha!

Well, that’s about it. I have 5 days to go, but I’ve learned a lot. You people in the West have no idea about anything cultural. Everything American is substandard, your medicine, your culture, and especially YOUR FOOD PREP! You close minded fools will never experience life. Your president is stupid, and you push your ways on the rest of the world! For shame! A wise sage once told me, “You’ll never experience culture, till you have to shit in a hole in the ground.” Indeed.

-The MoD

All praise to the MoD (PBUH)

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take your commi comments and blow them out your ass, MOD. We all know you were there for some slant eyed Vagina. Hell you could of went over to the corner of Haskins and 63rd and got some good old American pussy. That's right Texas style mother fucker! We all know she is a WHORE!
I'm out,
SGP

11/09/2006 7:58 PM  
Anonymous mod said...

Wow...63rd and Haskins! That old trick still lives there? I used to ride her like a mechanical bull! Seems like her son was kind of a homo though. He used to like to hide in the closet and try to watch. Strange kid.

11/11/2006 12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now he just takes it in the ass from the Red Headed Ass Clown from Lenexa. They like to go out the the circle track and beat each other off while watching daddy eat beef jerky and drink RC Cola. Sad but true. Daddy puts up with it though, since he owns the track. Couple of fruits if you ask me.

SGP

11/12/2006 1:23 PM  

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