My “Matches”

About every 3 or 4 days I get an email from matchdoctor.com. These emails contain 9 profiles of women whom matchdoctor.com thinks I am “compatible” with. I was never a member of their site, so the only thing I can think of is that this is some off-shoot of tickle/emote.com. If so, they don’t seem to remember “what I’m looking for”, because not only are these women no where near KC, they choose to send me the worst matches possible:



Not a bad start! Right age, right look, but what is she like?



So an unemployed golddigger... good job match doctor!



NEXT!



OK, she kind of looks like Lisa Bonet, I can dig that...



I said no kids and no libs! Arrrg!

NEXT!



Ehh... Texas babe, you can see 2 tats in that picture, but god knows where else she has them. OK, I can over look that, maybe... If she has the right personality.



Wow, a pot-head liberal that hates the President of the United States. From Texas. I bet that if Adolf Hitler and Golda Meir were to make profiles on Matchdoctor.com, they would be considered compatible because they both had an interest in Jews.



Jesus H.

NEXT!



Any woman that is holding a kid in a dating profile picture is trying to say something. She had three pictures in her archive, and they all had the same kid in them. OK, so she has a kid she loves, right?



No kids? Who is that? Are you a kidnapper? Are you one of these barren chicks that cuts the babies out of wombs of 9-month pregnant women?



Hehe "friends" son eh? OK babe, when your friends son is over to visit, Im gonna go to meet some of my "friends" down at Bazookas (Nothin' on but the juke box!)

-Masterson