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Saturday, June 11, 2005

Pseudoscience

This the way to calculate your chances of getting laid


(t^2*M)/ (Sp+c^2)/2= Sx%

Where as Sx=Sex potential, t=time, M=money, Sp=Sympathy, c=conversation.

I have done a service to all males with this. This is the final formula for calculating your chances of getting laid when you are with a chick. For example, lets say you spend 4 hours with a woman (t) 4 to the second power is 16, you multiply that by the amount of money (M) you spent on her, in this example we will say $50 so 16x50 is 800. During the date you showed sympathy (Sp) for 1 hour, and the total time of conversation (c) was 3 hours. 3 to the second power is 9; 9 plus 1 is 10. Time/money divided by sympathy/conversation is 80. Divide this by 2 and you have a (Sx) of 40%.

Application of the Alcohol Consumption Algorithm:

If the woman you are trying to nail is drinking, you need to add this formula to your calculation:

(D^3/ .9)*(A-21)/100 + SX% = TPS

Where as D=Total alcoholic drinks, A= Age in years, TPS= Total Probability of Sex

Example: If we start with a SX% of 40, and we have a 25 year old that has consumed 6 alcoholic beverages, the TPS is 49.6%. Thats betting odds, brotha!

Pseudoscience 2:

The 30% Male Exaggeration Theory

By my observation, men exaggerate almost everything by approximately 30%. Men have large egos, (30% larger then women, coincidently). When a man tells you a story, here are some simple calculations that you can use to get closer to the real truth.

Sex Partners:

Man at the bar: “I have fucked 20 women.”
Assuming the 30% theory, he has really fucked 14 (FW*.7)

Fish Size:

Man at the bar: “I once caught a 32 inch bass!”
Assuming the 30% theory, the largest bass he caught was 22.4” (BL*.7)

Penis Size:

Man at the bar: “I have an 8” dick.”
Assuming the 30% theory, his dick is 5.6” (DS*.7)

Income:

Man at the bar: “I make $50,000 per year.”
Assuming the 30% theory, he makes $35,000 (I*.7)

Get it?

Tommy Masterson

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