Words with Two Meanings
Awhile back, I received a mass-email that was written by a woman describing the duel meanings of certain words and phrases in the context of a relationship blah, blah. I read it, then decided to make my own list...
More Words with Two Meanings:
1. SUV
Men: A vehicle for crossing rough terrain, mudding, etc.
Women: A birthright that is to be given upon nuptials; a device used to incite the hatred of male drivers and the envy of non-SUV driving women.
2. Harass
Women: Unwanted attention or sexual advances, excessive phone calls, etc.
Men: What you pat when the cute new office girl walks by.
3. Golf
Women: A dull sport that men spend a great deal of time playing.
Men: What we tell the wife we are going to do when we head out to the nudie bar.
4. Condom
Women: A birth control device used to reduce the risk of pregnancy and STD’s during sexual intercourse.
Men: A cost-saving, though restrictive and desensitizing device that is far cheaper then antibiotics or a new identity and a one-way ticket to Brazil.
5. Mauve
Women: A light to medium purple.
Men: A desert in California
6. Jesus
Men: The biblical son of god.
Women: The cute new waiter at Applebee’s
7. Universe
Men: The space in that all matter and energy resides.
Women: What they think they are the center of.
8. Priest
Women: A Catholic holy man, a teacher of Catholic Christian doctrine.
Men: The protagonist from the Blaxploitaion movie “Superfly.”
9. Life
Women: The physical state of existence, a biological organism.
Men: A meter on a computer game that determines how many times you can be shot.
10. Diamond
Women: A crystalline, refractive stone that is used to enhance beauty or to proclaim status among other women.
Men: A crystalline, refractive stone that is purchased for a woman for the purpose of inducing her to have sex. A stripper we go to see when we tell the woman we are going to play golf.
If anybody has anymore ideas, please e-mail them to me, I would like to start a collection of them.
Ooooh. I almost forgot…he said she said….
She said: I need a commitment from you.
He said: And I need one from you…please sign your name to this pre-nup.
She said: Why do you fall asleep after we have sex?
He said: Well, why do you fall asleep when I’m watching golf?
She said: I think we should see other people.
He said: You’re right. Me and the boy’s need something new to talk about at the bar.
She said: I’m pregnant.
He said: No hablo ingles.
She said: I think that men don’t respect the brains of women.
He said: Women don’t need brains.
She said: WHAT!?!?!
He said: Women don’t need brains, because a brain can’t suck a di…….
-Tommy Masterson
More Words with Two Meanings:
1. SUV
Men: A vehicle for crossing rough terrain, mudding, etc.
Women: A birthright that is to be given upon nuptials; a device used to incite the hatred of male drivers and the envy of non-SUV driving women.
2. Harass
Women: Unwanted attention or sexual advances, excessive phone calls, etc.
Men: What you pat when the cute new office girl walks by.
3. Golf
Women: A dull sport that men spend a great deal of time playing.
Men: What we tell the wife we are going to do when we head out to the nudie bar.
4. Condom
Women: A birth control device used to reduce the risk of pregnancy and STD’s during sexual intercourse.
Men: A cost-saving, though restrictive and desensitizing device that is far cheaper then antibiotics or a new identity and a one-way ticket to Brazil.
5. Mauve
Women: A light to medium purple.
Men: A desert in California
6. Jesus
Men: The biblical son of god.
Women: The cute new waiter at Applebee’s
7. Universe
Men: The space in that all matter and energy resides.
Women: What they think they are the center of.
8. Priest
Women: A Catholic holy man, a teacher of Catholic Christian doctrine.
Men: The protagonist from the Blaxploitaion movie “Superfly.”
9. Life
Women: The physical state of existence, a biological organism.
Men: A meter on a computer game that determines how many times you can be shot.
10. Diamond
Women: A crystalline, refractive stone that is used to enhance beauty or to proclaim status among other women.
Men: A crystalline, refractive stone that is purchased for a woman for the purpose of inducing her to have sex. A stripper we go to see when we tell the woman we are going to play golf.
If anybody has anymore ideas, please e-mail them to me, I would like to start a collection of them.
Ooooh. I almost forgot…he said she said….
She said: I need a commitment from you.
He said: And I need one from you…please sign your name to this pre-nup.
She said: Why do you fall asleep after we have sex?
He said: Well, why do you fall asleep when I’m watching golf?
She said: I think we should see other people.
He said: You’re right. Me and the boy’s need something new to talk about at the bar.
She said: I’m pregnant.
He said: No hablo ingles.
She said: I think that men don’t respect the brains of women.
He said: Women don’t need brains.
She said: WHAT!?!?!
He said: Women don’t need brains, because a brain can’t suck a di…….
-Tommy Masterson
posted by Venjanz at 3:49 AM
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