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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Excerpts from the News

I follow the news like a crack whore after a $10 trick, but this week has been amazing. Here are some excerpts from various stories reported this week:

America and the World Remembers 9/11

9/11/06
The AP

Americans gathered at “ground zero” in New Your City this week to commemorate the fifth anniversary of the worst attack on American soil that has occurred (George W. Bush was president) in American history. While the loved ones of the dead held a candle light vigil in remembrance of the fallen, and the two towers that symbolized American economic power and big business (completed while Republican Gerald Ford was in office) proved …

Bush Approval Rating Improves Slightly

9/12/06
RTS

Riding an annual wave of patriotism in the U.S., George Bush’s approval rating ticked slightly upward 3 points to 41%, after sharply plummeting 2 points early last month, according to a Gallup poll…

Israeli Police Fire on Protesters During Peace Rally

9/12/06
RTS

IDF troops fired chemical-gas weapons at a group of Palestinian civilians and Hamas protesters during a march in Jerusalem against the recent conflict with the Lebanese freedom-fighter group Hezbollah. Spokesperson Ari Gold claimed that the army only fired “tear gas” at the protesters after a few of the 10,000 in attendance tossed some stones at the heavily armored troopers…

Army Private Faces Rape, Sodomy Charge

9/10/06
NYT

A United States Army soldier faces one count of statutory rape, and one count of sodomy after the 19-year-old private was caught receiving oral sex from his 17-year-old girl friend at a drive-in theater, Bumfawq police reported Friday. The soldier (who was in Iraq for one month) will appear in court on Friday…


Bush Delivers Speech to Iraq Veterans

9/13/06
WP

In an effort to gather dropping support for the “war on terror”, President Bush delivered a speech to thousands of American soldiers (many of whom were maimed and disfigured), mostly veterans of the Iraq war and contributors to the Republican Party. During his prepared speech, Bush said:

"America is at war. We will fight… anybody… that threatens our… oil… and… other… business… interests in… the Middle East,"

Democrats: Clinton to be Next President

9/12/06
SFT

Several progressive Democratic leaders have in recent days indicated that Hillary Clinton will become the 44th President of the United States. A strategy meeting was held today to decide the best way to overthrow the Republican junta in the Congress, and the Bush/Cheney regime that currently occupies the White House…

Well that's the news thats fit to print, it seems.

-Masterson

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